he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
