is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
