At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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