Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
