I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
