thus making me awesome and them whores
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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