So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
