erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm having to shit out rocks
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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