Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
