My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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