On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
