my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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