forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize