you're like a bully in the Christmas story
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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