i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He did a backflip because drugs
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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