I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
