so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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