You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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