Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
