She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
