So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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