Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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