Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
