New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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