I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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