Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize