You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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