The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
