Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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