this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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