I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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