i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
