turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
