he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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