I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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