I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
