shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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