Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
