I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
