Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
