Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
