So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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