covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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