pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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