I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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