Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
