did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
