Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
