escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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