babies were throwing up all over the place
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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