Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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