Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
