So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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