Cold hands, warm shart.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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