The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
