Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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