my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
