Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
